This blog originally started as a semi-autobiographical play in 2019, then the pandemic hit and I left New York. As I’m typing this Tennessee by Arrested Development came on Pandora (yes, I still use Pandora). I’m a creature of habit and do not like change. The timing of that early 90s reclamation was just the thing I needed to get this ball rolling. I can say that is one song I can listen to repeatedly and a feeling comes over my soul, it hits a certain chord deeper than imagined. If I had to select an anthem for this particular moment in my life, Tennessee would be it. In 2019, I quit my full-time job in Westchester (to be honest, I should have been let go but we’ll talk about that later on). I’ve always felt something was different about me, especially when I started kindergarten. To best sum it up, I felt like I was living this life but it was not my own.
I’ll be posting poems, musings, whatever pops in my head. One goal is to build a network of like-minded individuals. I know I’m not the only one who feel they’ve been living a lie just to be socially accepted. It’s time to be our authentic selves, with absolutely no apologies. I’ll be talking about personal experiences that shaped the persona I took on and why I’m in the process of unlearning and relearning. This is one on the hardest challenges I’ve ever faced in my life. FYI, I used to perform stand-up comedy in New York City and that was a piece of cake compared to facing my past.
Indoctrination: the process of teaching a person or group to accept a set of beliefs uncritically.
undoctriNATION best describes my hope for this blog. I want this site to serve as a mirror where you can see yourself in my writings.
One of the best tools I’ve learned over the last several years was how to think critically. School and even college (which I regret going) was more programming to obtain the desired outcome. Granted, critical thinking skills should be developed by our first teachers, our parents, but what happens when your parents are victims too. That’s something I’m working on now and it’s not easy. My parents are both from small towns in North Carolina and followed a certain way of thinking. Both my parents were there for integration and I believe that affected their outlook on life. My Dad joined the Ancestors in 2006, I still can talk to my Mom about it and from there it sheds light on their perception of life. Also, my Mom is a deeply religious woman, that goes without saying, it probably was obvious when I mentioned North Carolina. She brought that feverish enthusiasm with her to New York and it shaped me in ways I’m still trying to work out.